Hate is a strong word isn’t it? It can encompass so many thoughts and feelings, so many moments we can never take back. I have things I hate though. I hate being used. Why use someone who has always given nothing but love? It makes little sense to me but then I guess not everyone sees the me I am. I hate being lied to. Be honest. Seriously, it will save heartache to just be honest. Plus I won’t look at you like you have turned to the sludge in the bottom of a swamp. I hate being asked for my opinion and then bashed for it. If you want honesty don’t ask me cause I will tell you what I think not what you want to hear. I hate being supportive and then being judged for it. Don’t ask for my help unless my help is what you need. I am thoughtful. I have dang good instincts. Sure I can stick my foot in my mouth sometimes but if you shut up for a second and actually listen to what I have to say you might learn something. I hate disloyalty. Creating something with me and then pushing it into my lap when it bores you is not even close to cool. I hate being bored. I need to have many different things on my plate or I go insane. I hate rejection but am more used to it than I should be. I hate being sick it doesn’t suit me. I hate being alone at night with the world so dangerous and time rushing by. I hate dreaming because even when it starts great it usually goes bad and I wake up sweating, shaking and alone. I hate seafood. It is usually slimy and fishy and gross. I hate when I want to do something sweet for the man I love and nothing is cooperating. I hate getting up in the morning after a sleepless night. I hate cleaning the litter box. I hate that the woman I am gets ignored while I am judged on the woman you think I am. I have more emotions than there are letters in the alphabet.
I also love so many things. I love that first rush of joy when my husband walks through the door and smiles at me. I love butterfly kisses and cuddles on the couch. I love yogurt. I love strawberry lemonade. I love looking into my child’s eyes and seeing a happier version of myself. I love that I have multiple mothers who love me without sharing my DNA. I love God. I love books. I love organic dark chocolate. I love playing Mario with my brother. I love tickle wars and pillow fights. I love tex-mex enchiladas. I love romance movies. I love popcorn dipped in nacho cheese sauce. I love seeing the first snow of the year. I love Halloween and all that it entails. I love to go fishing. I love when my heart skips a beat because my husband’s face flashes across my phone when he calls me. I love that he loves my body. I love how he treasures the woman I am and not what people tell him I should be. I love how he defends me even as he lectures me. I love Pepsi. I love bubble baths. I love roses. I love the ocean and the way it is always moving and changing but it’s core is the same. I love babies. I love coloring a picture to see my child smile. I love how she looks at me and tries to take care of me. I love how she knows when I need her hugs. I love playing dominoes. I love writing. I love dancing so long and hard that I fall to the floor gasping. I love swimming. I love being help like I am the most precious thing on earth. I love my huge crazy family and that more than half share not a shred of my blood but they love me anyway. I love being there for people. I love HTML. I love girlfriends who get me.
On the subject of loving babies I am so incredibly proud to announce the birth of my newest nephew Jeremiah Samuel Black. I am sure he is 7 lbs of pure cuteness and can’t wait to meet him.
Now that I ranted about the bad and remembered the good in my life I am off to write some in my newest novel. Happy December Eve and may you remember your blessings as I do.
